


Only If for a Night

by bttlndbynd



Category: Long Gone Days (Video Game)
Genre: Exploration, First Time, Hand Jobs, M/M, Masturbation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-26 06:42:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20385349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bttlndbynd/pseuds/bttlndbynd
Summary: “Thanks for giving it a try!” Ivan smiled. “If there’s anything else I can help you with, just let me know.”Rourke tilted his head and seemed to be lost in thought. Ivan didn’t think he’d take up on his offer right away, but he didn’t mind either. “There is something, but, umm…”





	Only If for a Night

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place during the hostel scene in Chapter 2. After seeing this scene, I couldn’t not write this. There are no major spoilers, but for the purposes of this fic, I’m assuming Rourke doesn’t know anything about his own body.

* * *

Ivan didn’t know why Rourke choose him at the hostel.

Maybe it was because Adair and him were more prepared in case someone tried to break in while they slept. But on the other hand, he had also noticed how Rourke seemed to be growing closer to him.

But it’s not like it matters anyway. He’s happy he could take this opportunity to teach him some basic skills. They had been cooking for a while, and Rourke seemed to feel calmer. He’d been under a lot of stress lately, and this probably helped him keep his mind off things.

Ivan looked proud as he watched Rourke remove the final cutlet from the pan. “Wow, I think you might be a natural!” Ivan said with a big grin on his face. “This is really, really good.”

“Thank you, Ivan.”

“Thanks for giving it a try!” Ivan smiled. “If there’s anything else I can help you with, just let me know.”

Rourke tilted his head and seemed to be lost in thought. Ivan didn’t think he’d take up on his offer right away, but he didn’t mind either. “There is something, but, umm…”

“Is something wrong?”

“Hmm… Maybe it’s something I should ask Adair.” Rourke seemed anxious.

“Are you sick? Is it your stomach?”

"No, it's my, uh... It’s my penis." He sounded embarrassed.

Ivan blinked. "_Oh._"

"It started happening yesterday, it could be an allergic reaction or something..."

It did seem to be a question best suited for Adair, but Rourke seemed to be so embarrassed already that there was probably a reason why he decided to ask Ivan first instead. Maybe it was still something he could answer. "Does it itch or hurt...?"

"Not really, but it's very uncomfortable. It's like, it gets swollen for a couple of minutes, and then it goes away. It has happened a couple of times already."

"When was the last time it happened?" Ivan didn’t know if this question could help, but it was the only thing he could think of at the moment.

“Umm… It’s happening right now, actually…” Rourke rubbed his neck and then looked up. "I know this is a big favor to ask, but could you.... Could you take a look....?"

_ What. _

"I... uh… I guess I could, but I'm no expert."

“Thanks,” Rourke said as he reached for his pants. “This is pretty embarrassing, but it’s driving me insane.”

As he could hear Rourke undoing his pants, he tried to prepare himself mentally just in case there’s something really bad going on there.

He finally takes a look.

It looked normal.

Ivan inspected it a bit more. There was no swelling, no rash, nothing particularly uncommon. “What feels different from a typical erection?”

Rourke looks at him puzzled.

“An erection?”

"Yeah."

_ Silence. _

"What's an erection?" Rourke insisted.

Ivan froze. This _ had _ to be a joke. He could understand that Rourke didn’t know about fathers and mothers, but this was different. No matter how sheltered a person was, he would probably have learned on his own how to take care of his bodily needs, right?

“Has this never happened to you before?” Ivan asked while crossing his arms, looking skeptic. “Not even when you wake up?”

"Hmm... Not that I can think of. But I think I’d have noticed."

"Well,” Ivan let out a sigh. “That’s just an erection. It’s completely normal. Sometimes they happen for no reason."

Rourke looked troubled. "Does that mean there's nothing I can do about it?"

Ivan tries to think what's the right way to approach this subject. Rourke would probably find out the answer on his own, but he seemed desperate. He needed to know the answer right now. Ivan sighed.

“You can relieve it by doing something called masturbation.” Ivan normally didn’t mind answering these questions, he was used to at his job. But having a fully grown adult asking him that. It felt completely different.

"There’s more than one way to do it, but the most common one is to grab your penis with one hand, and you pump it up and down repeatedly until you feel better."

“Is that it?” Rourke lowered his hand and grabbed his cock.

"Aah! Wait, wait, wait!" Ivan snaps. “This kind of thing— you should always do it in private, okay? You can go to the bathroom."

“Eh?” Rourke didn't quite understand, but he soon got up and went to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

On the other side of the room, Ivan is sitting on the bed overanalyzing whatever just happened. He wondered if everyone at The Core is like that, or if only Rourke was like that. There was probably a reason why he never experienced arousal during puberty, or—

"Haaaah..."

_ Ivan froze again. _

"Hah... Hnnng... Haaah..."

Ivan had a moment of _ Ok, maybe I should take a walk or something_, but before he could stand up, he was interrupted by louder moans. Ivan was worried about how soundproof these walls were. Even if it was awkward, it was best to tell him.

Ivan stood right outsid the bathroom. "Hey, umm..."

"Haah... Y-yes, Ivan?" Rourke said, panting heavily.

_ Fuck._ Hearing his own name in between moans... He never once saw Rourke in this way, not even when he was standing naked in front of him, but his moans alone were enough to make him hard. It'd been so long since he had been with someone. Maybe it was okay. Maybe he could tell him about being quieter later.

"Sorry, it's nothing, haha." Ivan chuckled.

"Huh? Okay..."

Ivan leaned his back on the wall, and slowly began to unzip his pants. He had to be careful but quick. He finally released his cock, and as soon as he started stroking it, he could hear Rourke panting again. Without realising it, he was trying to synchronize his movements to the moans.

It almost felt like he was the one doing that to him.

"Ivan? Are you still there?" Rourke asked.

_ Shit_. He wondered if Rourke had hear something, but it's not like he should lie to him anyway.

"Sorry, I was about to lea—"

Suddenly the door opens. Rourke stares at him and sees he's touching himself. Ivan tries to pull his shirt to cover himself but it's too late. Rourke had already seen him.

"I'm so sorry, I knew this was wrong and yet—"

"Can I see...?"

Ivan blinked. "Eh?"

"I'm not sure if I'm doing it right."

"Y-you probably were..."

"_ Please_."

Ivan was already too far into it. Something about a strong soldier, looking at him with pleading eyes, begging him to jerk off. There's no harm in showing him exactly what he's asking for, is there?

Ivan grabs his cock again and strokes it slowly enough so Rourke can study what he's doing. He glances over to Rourke and sees how his eyes are watching his movements closely. He had never exposed himself like this in front of anybody, but his shame turned into more arousal.

His strokes started getting faster, he could see Rourke was trying to emulate his movements and while he knew it wasn't like Rourke was doing it because he lusted over him, he couldn't help but feel hornier than ever before.

As Rourke did that, Ivan could see the muscles in his arms, his veins, his pecs.This was the first time he had seen Rourke without his jacket. He had tried to avoid eye contact, but he noticed Rourke had his eyes closed. God, even his face was beautiful, the flush on his cheeks, his long eyelashes—

“Um, Ivan?”

“Yes?”

“How do you do _ that_?”

_ That? _He glanced over at Rourke’s cock, it was beginning to get a bit soft. He also noticed Rourke was cut, unlike him. He wondered how he was just noticing this now.

“Do you think you could do that to me…?” Ivan’s heart skipped a beat. “Just for a bit. It’s just that I noticed it looks different.” Rourke added.

At this point he wasn’t sure if Rourke was making this whole thing up, but if it was planned, it was getting very elaborate. Ivan decided to go with it, but as he extended his hand, he realized that it would be in the wrong angle. “Let’s sit somewhere first, it’s hard to do it like this” Ivan said.

Ivan buttoned his pants again and followed Rourke as he sat on the bed. Rourke sat upright, while Ivan sat beside him, his body leaning toward the soldier’s, holding Rourke’s cock with his right hand. This was the first time they had been so close to each other.

Ivan began stroking him slowly, tugging at the base and then slowly going up, without touching his head yet.

Rourke’s breath started getting agitated, he was staring intensely at Ivan’s hand. Considering how noisy Rourke was back then, he could probably take a lot more, so he tightened his grip and gradually increased his pace, without taking his eyes off Rourke’s face.

“Ah—! There…!” Rourke gasped.

“Does it feel good?”

Between gasps, Rourke could only mutter a “Mmhmm!”, as he buried his face on Ivan’s shoulder. Ivan was at his limit, he felt like doing so many things right there, he wanted to kiss him, to touch him all over, but he fought these urges back. This wasn’t the time. This was for Rourke.

He kept his pace for a moment until Rourke seemed to get used to the rhythm. There was finally some precum covering his hand. He tried to be careful with whatever little foreskin he had left, and he tightened his grip once again. This time, Rourke’s reaction was amazing. He let out a loud gasp as if he had forgotten how to breathe and quickly grabbed Ivan’s shirt, bucked his hips and buried his head deeper into his shoulder.

Ivan wanted to jerk off so badly, but decided to keep his hand busy by stroking Rourke’s back instead. In response to his touch, he started shivering, and making a sound that almost could be described as a purr. His whole body seemed to be overly sensitive, and he hadn’t even touched his glans yet. He carefully gave it a try.

_ Oh wow. _

Rourke whimpered as he bucked his hips furiously. “M-more… hnng…” Ivan held him closer, and just as he was about to increase his pace one last time, Rourke’s body tensed up, and he let out a loud grunt. He had finally come. His cum was so warm, Ivan didn’t notice his hand was covered in it until he looked down, and there was still some more leaking from his cock.

He was still stroking Rourke’s back with his left hand, and he could feel a bit of sweat through his shirt, as well as the sweat front his forehead, as it was still firmly pressed against Ivan’s shoulder. Rourke’s hot breath was burning his chest. They stood like this for a bit, until Rourke had calmed down.

He was going to take a _ very _ cold shower after this.

Rourke finally regained his composure and looked back at his groin in shock. Before he could say anything, Ivan reassured him it’s natural. He pondered for a second whether he should talk to him about why that happens, and maybe about sex, but this had already been enough for the day.

“Sorry, I’m dozing off.” Rourke said, rubbing his eyes.

“Oh,” Ivan suddenly snapped out of it. “We should clean up first, though.”

“Yeah” he chuckled.

xxxxx

About half an hour had passed since they had done _ that _. Both of them were already in their respective beds. Rourke was blankly staring at the ceiling, and Ivan was on his side checking his phone.

“Ivan.”

Please. _ Please _let it be something else.

“Yes?” Ivan asked sheepishly.

“Do you think, um… Could we do that again sometime?”

_ Of course _ he’d ask something like that. All the shame came back to him, but it was clear he had to take responsibility. He left his phone aside, and sat back straight on the bed. How should he put this without upsetting him? Admittedly, he’d love to do that with Rourke again, but until he learns more about it, it just feels wrong. As if he was taking advantage of him. Even if Rourke’s the one asking him for it.

“If you ever feel like that again, you can go do it in private, somewhere where you can be alone,” he continued. “Oh, and... It’s not like there’s anything wrong with doing it! It’s just that the others don’t need to know you are doing it, so it’s better if you try to not make too much noise” he added. _ Oh god _, did that sound too harsh?

Rourke looked at him. That didn’t really answer his question. Ivan sighed.

“Rourke… What we just did is not n—”. No. Saying something isn’t ‘normal’ could make him feel inadequate. “What we just did is something you should only do with someone you love”, he corrected himself.

Rourke seemed a bit confused. “And how do I know if I love someone?” Rourke asked naively. Ivan chuckled, but it was a legitimate question. Hell, he would like to know himself.

“Well, let’s say that it’s when you like someone a lot, you feel comfortable around them, they make you happy, and you want to make them happy too.” Ivan said almost in a childish tone.

Rourke put his hand on his chin. He seemed to be deep in thought. Ivan went through their whole conversation in his mind to see if he had missed anything important.

“Does that mean I love you?” Ivan almost choked. Rourke’s questions were getting more and more complicated, and he didn’t know if he was actually helping him or not.

“Oh, right, it’s normal to feel that way about friends, but I’m talking about another kind of love. I guess I should be more specific. What I meant is romantic or sexual attraction.” He could already feel Rourke getting more and more confused. “Thankfully, sexual attraction is easier to tell because your body reacts to it, and one of those signs is getting an erection.”

“Then what about the one I had before?”

“As I said before, sometimes they can happen for no reason at all. Even when you are sleeping, it can get hard on its own. But if this happens pretty much every time you are with that person, and it doesn’t happen with other people, then it might mean you are sexually attracted to them” Ivan explained. “It can take some time to understand it, though.”

“But this only started happening after I met you” Rourke pauses for a bit. “It happened at your place… It happened when I saw you again in the ferry… It even happened a couple of times when you called my name.”

Ivan could feel his own face getting warmer. He was flattered, but he reminded himself that Rourke only knows a handful of people, if we don’t count the people he met at The Core. But there was no point in thinking about that. If Rourke had chosen him, he’d try his best to teach him the things he needs.

“Let’s take things slow, okay?” Ivan said in a reassuring tone.

Rourke looked relieved. They didn’t have much time for now, but there would be plenty of time after this whole war was over. Probably.

Still, it was a nice thought to hold on to for now.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are appreciated! If you have ideas for other fics, you can tell me here or send me a DM on tumblr or twitter at @bttlndbynd.  
Thanks to Koji for helping me with the draft!


End file.
